Spectator to doer: Finding your inciting incident
And rejecting a life of routine
One of my favourite old TV shows is Seinfeld. It turns out, that there’s a few parts of the show that were totally improvised, or accidental. For example, the way that Kramer comes through the door in a sliding rush was done the first time because Kramer missed his cue. It was such a hit, that it became it’s own sub-thread in the story. He continued to develop it until he could slide from the doorway all the way to the kitchen.
When Kramer missed the cue, it became an ‘inciting incident’ in the story.
It was a catalyst that knocked him off kilter. And shifted the direction of the show in a small, but key way.
In business, we’re often looking for ways to motivate ourselves.
Or ways to stay accountable.
We think that this should be coming from within. From some internal drive that some people have, and others don’t.
But usually, the spark for motivation comes from outside of us. We see something. We hear about something. Or we meet someone, and that creates a vision that stirs enough emotion to create movement.
We have an inciting incident in our lives, that knocks us out of balance, and leads to action.
Successful business owners and creators don’t just sit there with infinite piles of motivation. They are just very good at finding these catalysts.
The root of the word motivate is “to stimulate toward action, act as the inciting cause of”
And later, “inner or social stimulus for action”.
Motivation then, is the starter of action. It ain’t the continuation of action. It’s the catalyst.
How do we get this stimulus to move from spectator to ‘doer?’
Do we need more energy? Most likely. The further we go, the more we learn that more energy at a cultural, or physiological level is at the heart of progress and creativity, with the reverse also being true.
Do we need more information? For most of us, that’s now debunked. While some people still trawl through video courses, they already know that it’s a distraction, and it creates more contempt for the whole thing as the information pours in, and there ain’t any more action on the other side of it.
We need to break routine
In story structure, an inciting incident is the beginning of a story.
Robert McKee outlines this well:
“The inciting incident launches a story by upsetting the equilibrium of the protagonist’s life and throwing the story’s core value either positively or negatively, but decisively, out of kilter. This turning point initiates the events that follow and propels the protagonist into action.”
Prior to the inciting incident, the protagonist, or lead character, is sitting in balance.
They may have problems, desires, or things that they want to do. But those positive forces are ‘in balance’ with the negative forces that stop movement: Perceived risk, fear, comfort, inertia to stay where we are, uncertainty, et cetera.
This is where a lot of people sit. On one side there are dreams and desires. But on the other, narratives from different angles that create a sense of fear and risk. So there is a long term equilibrium, that slowly morphs into groundhog day.
They become spectators.
It’s like Batman sitting in his lair, brooding. Sure he can go save people. But why? There will just be more crime in Gotham. Why bother?
The inciting incident ‘shocks’ the character out of balance: The Joker arrives on the scene. Bane arrives on the scene. Batman is suddenly, and necessarily moved into action.
But these events don’t come from a life of routine
In everyday life, with a lot going on, and a fair bit of stress, there’s often no energetic reason to change our path, unless we have a strong inciting incident. Basically, we need to put ourselves in the position to get knocked out of balance in life.
I get to interview a lot of business owners about their backstory
Quite often - not all the time - those who are the most successful have had a strong inciting incident in their past.
They grew up very poor.
Their first business went bankrupt.
They had an injury or illness.
A lot of times they had a strong, negative inciting incident, that knocks the character deeply out of balance, propelling them into a positive action over time. Which, in the case of business, can be a good thing.
Then, as each chapter of their story is complete, or after they reach each goal, successful business owners, and generally the people we look up to, seek out more catalysts to spark the next step of the journey.
It doesn’t just happen. They get out and meet people.
They go travelling.
They have trained themselves to constantly be looking for inciting incidents, or catalysts.
They are trying to knock themselves off kilter, knowing that the next stage of growth won’t just ‘happen’, but will often start from outside of themselves, and then they can create a vision around that, and continue to drive forward.
Do all inciting incidents need to be negative?
We started watching a series called Yellowstone a while back. We haven’t finished it. But basically what happened was, the family on the Dutton Ranch was in balance. Sure there was a mild feud going on. But it wasn’t at a tipping point.
But, in one scene in the first episode, one of the sons was killed off.
This was the obvious inciting incident, which kicked off the main story line of saving the ranch and the family.
Negative inciting incidents like that can be powerful.
But positive can work as well. Getting married. Moving overseas. A holiday, et cetera. Seeing something beyond what you thought was possible.
Either way, an inciting incident always leads to action. Because if it doesn’t it’s not an inciting incident. It’s just an event that leaves everything in equilibrium.
People as ‘catalysts’ or inciting incidents
Personally, my biggest shifts in life have come from people who have been inciting incidents for my life. My mentors and teachers.
People who are very prolific.
Or very energised. So just being around them knocks me out of balance, and gets me thinking about the next idea.
For example. When I left corporate, I had no job but I needed a way to support myself, so I walked around retail stores, and found a part time job moving shoe boxes. The job paid $20 cash per hour. Which was all that I needed then.
But the real inciting incident, was the owner of the store. His name was Luke. He was great at sales, because he was so good at nurturing vision with customers. And he made me ‘see’ that people love to buy, and selling is a good thing.
When we meet someone that inspires us like that, we are shocked into action by seeing what’s possible, and actually attainable. It creates vision, and we can’t help but shift our course.
Finding inciting incidents
One of the hardest periods for me mentally, was actually when we were doing pretty well in business.
We had the gym, revenue was great. We had a pretty good lifestyle.
But I was grinding. I would go from home to the gym, and maybe to the cafe. And just stay inside of those four walls.
I would look on social media for inspiration. But it was just flashy images and people talking.
If you think about this in a typical story arc, the character expanded to reach a certain level of success. But then they started to contract. Instead of seeking more inciting incidents, they start to protect what they have, and remain ‘closed off’.
And what they need, is a catalyst for a second ‘expansion.’
It sounds small, but the way that I broke out of that was, I started inviting other gym owners over to train. We would do a session. Talk about ideas. And it would spark new directions. I started to run some different workshops and then retreats. This led to a coaching program. And eventually, it led to us deciding to sell the gym and move north to where it was warmer.
The reason the first period was so difficult, was because there was no inciting incident. Without a catalyst, or something to spark action, the character just flounders.
Before a story, physically, socially, or otherwise the character rests in a state of balance.
Life is in balance.
Sure the protagonist has her daily ups and downs. But she’s in control of her existence. Something must happen in her world, for a new story to begin. In a way, this forces her into action.
Well, our job then, as visionaries and business owners, isn’t to create ideas out of thin air.
Or to suddenly wake up, and change everything.
Our job is to ‘run into’ catalysts and create vision. Things that spark our thinking, and force us out of equilibrium.
Summary
The shift from spectator to doer ain’t about summoning motivation from within. Or getting more hype. It’s rare to wake up and suddenly be motivated in any meaningful way that lasts.
Because as long as life is in balance, and we have control over everything, then there is no story. Rather than beating ourselves up for not having the motivation to become a ‘doer’, what we need to do is put ourselves in a position for a catalyst to happen.
‘Doers’ are constantly looking at this.
They’re talking to people from all walks of life. They are calling people back. They are showing up at events. They lean in. Not because they have to. But because they know that a little moment, conversation or event can be exactly what they need.
And ‘tip’ them into the next leg of their story.
Of course it’s easy for me to say this as a business coach. But an easy option is to enrol in a course. Go meet new people. Travel. Disrupt routine enough to open a doorway for something to knock you out of balance.
This forces you to take action, and a new story begins.